Cam’s Blog

     These past few weeks, I have been bringing the word homesick to new levels–constantly running long-distance calls to the Philippines, begging my mom to "please let me go home!", sulking inside my room like a 6 year-old, sabotaging my chances of actually getting a job, trying to convince immigration lawyers that I know better than them and that i NEED to go home and retake the board exams, living inside my laptop–to no avail. My mom, who has been bearing the brunt of my endless nagging, has been trying to find new ways of making me stay. Her latest efforts resulted in an all expenses paid- 4-night vacation in Las Vegas. So, despite the fact that this is THE LAS VEGAS, I wasn’t  exactly thrilled. My mom promised me that after this trip, I’ll forget about wanting to go home. I was determined to prove her wrong.
   

Day 1
    We, that is, my aunts, uncles, cousin and I, arrived in Las Vegas on a Friday. We spent the first night walking around the strip. I’ve got to admit, Vegas really lives up to its name. The whole place was like one huge party 24/7. So, we went around the main hotels and casinos, the Bellagio, the MGM Grand, Flamingo, the Mirage, Caesar’s Palace, Mandalay Bay, Harrah’s, Treasure island…whew Pretty impressive. But what really made me smile were the Coca-cola museum and M&M world. I know, I am such a dork.

We had a late dinner at the MonamiGabi steakhouse in Paris. Yup, Paris, Vegas, complete with the Eiffel Tower. Despite the fact that it was way smaller than the real thing, I’ve got to admit that it was a freakin good imitation. BUT, when i saw it, i didnt experience the same sense of awe and history that I felt in Paris. So, no, I still wasn’t impressed. (Boy, there’s just no pleasing a homesick girl, LOL).

After dinner, i wanted to get back to hotel to chat with my bee, but my uncle wanted to go to Bally’s and try out his luck. He even gave me 20 bucks so i can bet. I chose a random slot machine and played mindlessly for a while. Then the machine screen suddenly exploded with fireworks. The tiny little box that earlier showed $20 now reads $525. Holy Shit. I wanted to cash out the money immediately, but the crowd that suddenly formed around me urged me to , "Go for more!". And so i did. I went home with $600.65. How’s that for beginner’s luck?

Day 2

Vegas is all about casino-hopping and fab shows and even more fab shopping. So, I packed accordingly. A trip to the Hoover dam was not part of the plan. I wasn’t really interested in going, but since you really can’t do a lot in Vegas during the daytime, I decided to go with my aunts and uncles. The Hoover dam is a historical and architectural masterpiece located in Boulder City, about 30 minutes from Vegas. Now, I’d really love to go into details about how great the dam is and how amazing its history is, but all i could think of the whole time are my feet(so the pics will have to suffice). Yup, my feet and its near-death experience at the Hoover dam. Lore has it that the construction of the dam cost about 400 lives, but it was never really proven. Guess what, I totally believe it.

       It was love at first sight for me and these black patent Stuart Weitzman peep-toe flats. I was practicing shoe-celibacy when I saw this baby at Nordstrom’s.  I knew he was totally out of my league (read:budget), but there was just something about him. I knew I just HAD to have him. But, just like most whirlwind romances, the magic faded fast. And there, on the Hoover dam, I fell completely out of love with him as he mercilessly killed my poor feet. Well Stuart, we had some good times, but I found some one else…these…yup!i bought these comfy bedroom slippers at the nearest pharmacy and wore them for the rest of the trip. I looked like a complete idiot, but between complete idiot and completely murdered feet, I’d choose complete idiot any day.

OK.The Celine Dion show was totally not my idea. I have great respect for the artist, but c’mon, when I think of Vegas shows, I think Moulin Rouge, Chippendale’s, Topless showgirls, not Celine Dion. But my aunt insisted that a trip to Vegas won’t be complete without catching the Celine Dion show, and that it was her last year..so…OK! Celine Dion it is!And oh my gosh, I hate to admit this, but, she was so right! I was completely spellbound. It wasn’t a Celine Dion concert, it was a Cirque du Soliel production with a Celine Dion soundtrack. It was so freakin amazing i had goosebumps the entire show. I tried to sneak in a couple of shots with my cameraphone, but the usherette caught me and i didn’t want to get thrown out. To add more cheese to this huge cheeseball of an experience, when Celine sang My Heart Will Go On for her finale, i actually cried. I know, kadiri to death. Toldya, I’m owning this blog.

Day 3
     Day 3 was pretty low key. We went to downtown Vegas to do some shopping in the afternoon. I didn’t want to spend the money I won so i decided to just buy an outfit for the night.I scored this cute little cowgirl dress and bought a matching cowgirl hat to boot. I seriously considered getting cowboy boots, but decided that that would be overkill. Add a long gold necklace and some heels and voila! instant Vegas party outfit. (hey, if those Vegas brides can prance around the casinos in their wedding gowns, i sure can in my cowgirl get-up). My aunt didn’t want to go out that night, so it was just me and my cousin. We had dinner at this classy steak house called Lawry’s, had daiquiris at Coyote Ugly and watched the show at the Pussycat dolls lounge. We tried to play at the mirage casino for a while, but after losing 50 bucks each, we decided to call it a night. Looks like my beginner’s luck has run out.

Day 4
Day 4 was ME time. I woke up really late and everybody else left already for the casinos. I woke up to a sunny day and a phone call from my bee, so I knew it was going to be a good day. I decided to just explore the hotel, the Bellagio, as in Ocean’s 11. I wanted to take advantage of the weather so I went for a swim at the hotel’s seriously gorgeous pools. One of the guests I met at the poolside bar suggested that I check out the hotel’s famous conservatory, which I did. He was so right, it was one of the most beautiful places I have ever been to. Check out these darling flowers.

                                           I felt like i was inside a perfume bottle. Not even the designer shops dotting the place can compare to this. Well, almost. Bottega Veneta kicked off Hermes from the top spot of my most coveted handbag list. Made from the softest, most luxurious leather ever, BV’s purses are pure LOVE. Sigh–a classic case of unrequited love. Someday, Bottega, i will be worthy of your love. In the evening, I met up with everyone else. We watched the water show at the Bellagio, the volcano at the Mirage and
the pussycat dolled-Pirates show at Treasure island. Dinner was at this fresh oyster bar at Harrah’s. Fresh, raw oysters+ Tabasco+lemons +cold beer=perfect nightcap. Then we all went back to the hotel to get some rest before the endless drive back home the next day.

Las Vegas is a flamboyant city, forever trying to impress and never failing. But as the cliche goes, what happens in Vegas stays in vegas. Sure, all those casinos and margaritas took my mind off home for awhile. But I will go back to California as the same homesick girl who will continue to find ways to get back home to the boy she loves. Only 600 dollars richer.

I have been surrounded with expectation all my life. And it has turned me into a pleaser.My parents have upped the ante a little bit higher with their child-raising and the result is an obsessive-compulsive pleaser–which means that I THRIVE to please and expectations feed the constant need to please. It’s a vicious cycle.

So, i was never the irritating little girl who throws a tantrum on the toy store because her mom won’t buy her the newest Polly Pocket. I was the annoying little girl who sings and dances on parties. I was never the angsty, black-eye-linered teen. I was the perky, annoying grade-hungry, scheming teacher’s pet.

I’m not saying this is an entirely bad thing. In fact, i probably wouldn’t have done half of what i have accomplished without these expectations. All I’m saying, is that it sometimes SUCK– having the constant need to plan everything.Hating surprises.Not being able to do anythig on a whim.Being boring.

But these past few weeks, I was seriously considering doing something on a whim. I was ready to drop everything and make the biggest mistake of my life. I WANTED to make the mistake. This is a good thing. But as it turned out, the mistake could not materialize, not because i didnt want it to, but because it just wasnt meant to materialize. And this broke my heart terribly. I felt trapped inside this other-pleasing but self-loathing monster.

So I am going to do the best remedy that i know, writing. My laptop is filled with journal entry after journal entry, none of which appears on my blog. Why? Because journalling is supposed to be therapeutic while blogging is freaking stressful for the OC-inflicted pleaser. She imagines the whole world scrutinizing her grammar, her sentence construction, her style, her content, oops! she used a cliche! So, she writes about things that she thinks others may actually enjoy reading, and it takes her two days to write, revise, check and recheck every single detail. The result is a very likeable blog entry that everybody can relate to and a very stressed out dissatisfied blogger.Well i am damned sick of it. I am finally succumbing to blogging about  whatever i damn want.  I will write about things that nobody else understands but reflects what i feel. I will be sickeningly, pathetically emo. I will be a complete cheesball. I will be a shallow airhead. oh yes i will write poems and no they will not rhyme. And i will commit the biggest mistake of all, the cliche. 

In the words of my wonderfully screwed friend, i.d.g a.f.

Feels good.feels very good.